D:L&L - Part 21 | Lion: Lions in the Looney Lounge

“What do you think is happening, Boss?” Cu’ inquired of me as we bellied up to the bar in the Looney Lounge. Man those Loon girls could bend in ways that make a man weak. It’s a shame they’re so fragile, as I once found out when one of my claws dug into a girl’s ass. POP! Talk about instant deflation, and not just for her. Yeah, so I broke the rules, you’re not allowed to touch the girls, but rules don’t apply to me and accidents happen, you know.

I shook my head as I ordered a round of Blood Runners for us. “I don’t know, Cu’. Something is up. There’s been no further news from Bright Lettins; no one seems to have made it back once they go in. As far as I’m concerned, it’s their problem. So Cheers, Dawg!” I said as I lifted the Runner to Cu’.

Cu’ clinked his glass against mine. “You don’t think this has to do with before, do you, Boss? If you were there, you would know better than anyone. What was the deal then?” He took a sip of his drink, savoring the taste.

I slammed mine back, glaring at Cu’ with a warning. I hated remembering then. I hated talking about it even more.

“Man, I only ask so we can be prepared. What if all that reaches the Big Green?”

“There’s so much history here, Cu’. Way before she came. I do find it ironic that Oz translates to mean ‘great and good’.” I laughed heartily at this, signaling for another round. “Deception and lies, that’s what it should mean. How can you tell the good from the bad? You can’t, that’s how.”

“Tell me, Boss. Stop beating around the clobbish and changing the subject.”

“You watch your tone with me, Cu’. You’re my friend. I’d hate to have to kick your ass,” I said casually, making direct eye contact with him. He knew I meant business.

“Sorry, Boss.” He turned his head down, his wagging tail falling still behind him. “I only meant I’d really like to hear it from someone who really knows. Someone who’s been there. You’re a hero, Boss. A damn hero!”

“First of all, I’m no hero. I only did what I had to do to survive. It isn’t as if I was given much choice. It was do or die, man. Do or die.”

“But you know, Boss. You know what really happened. Tell me, Boss, tell me what you know.” He panted, tail wagging like a metronome. He swigged his drink, looking at me anxiously, a bit of the thick, red liquid sliding down his chin. He didn’t care.

He’s such a pup sometimes. It’s not a façade that should allow one to make the mistake of thinking Cu’ will chase balls and play dead. But he’ll make you dead faster than anything you ever saw. Sometimes I think he could take me down, but I never reveal that fear. To keep a dog loyal, you’ve got to show command.

“Fine, I’ll tell you some of what I know. Some I don’t want to mention. Let’s have another round first.” We ordered up and turned to watch the Loon girls contort themselves to the beating rhythm of the music. Their bright balloon bodies glistened wet under the spotlights, contrasting against the dark green velvet backdrop of the stage.

Enjoy it, pal. Shit’s about to hit the fan. The dreams, the signs, troubles coming, and there’s no stopping it.

I leaned towards Cu’, glanced around to make sure our conversation would stay private and started:

“If I blame anyone, it’s Lurline. Fairies and their fantastical whims. Never think of the consequences. One day in passing, she decides to enchant Oz. POOF! Animals talk and have rational thoughts, and just like that, we’re all supposed to live harmoniously with humans. Yeah, right. Sometimes I think they are more savage than we are. Lurline did leave us Ozma, our first ruler. She was a member of Lurline’s band, Man could they jam. Now Ozma was a fairy princess, powerful, beautiful, and so very kind. The thing about magic is that when the wrong people get any kind of power, they’re going to start shit. And that’s exactly what happened. Four bitches, err Witches, wicked bitches at that, really got the mojo on and cloaked themselves from view. One day they show their ass, killing thousands of Ozites, claiming the Animals are unnatural and should all die. Ozma gets pissed and decimates two of them in a day. Easy peasy for her. They really did some kick-ass on those two baddies, balancing the powers again. Afterward, Ozma banned any use of magic anywhere in Oz except for herself. If only she knew what a mistake that would lead to. People don’t listen, you know. They just won’t follow the rules. To help contain some of the magic, Ozma created three magical items to store some of the most dangerous powers. This part is conjecture and stories I’ve heard. I’ve never seen any of the items.” I polished off my third drink and signaled for another round. I hoped Cu’ wouldn’t pick up on my lie. I looked at him, and he stared intently at me, ready to hear more.

“The first item is said to be a box of some sort, holding a pearl of wisdom. He who has possession of the box will know all. The second item is a picture or a mirror, I’ve heard it told both ways. Who knows? But this picture/ mirror supposedly gives the viewer power to see anything, anywhere, at any given time, and also gives the holder the power to grant longevity. Yeah right, I say. The third item is a book. I’ve heard it contains all the secrets to Ozma’s magic. Some say it holds all of the secrets of all fairy magic, a very powerful weapon, for sure. Ozma is said to have cast these items into the lands of Oz, hidden safely away to protect them. She then cast a protection spell, a glass bubble surrounding Oz, keeping it hidden from the other side. This just proves we are some dirty little secret to be kept hidden, a mistake.”

I glance at the purple Loon gyrating on the stage. Man, I’d like some of that. Purple is for kings, and guess what baby, I can be your king for a night. I’ll try to keep my claws in. I grinned at the little purple girl, who glanced back at me, terrified. I flipped a few bills out and waved them at her, and set them on the bar. She could decide.

“A couple hundred years of peace go by then the Big Nome Uprising happens. They think they own the rights to all minerals and stones underground, so they always want to try and overtake the Big Green because of the emeralds. During the Big Uprising, the Nome King managed to abscond with Ozma, taking her below the soil. We have had many search parties over the years, but to no avail. If she ever made it back, provided she wasn’t mental, she would set all this mess straight. I sometimes wonder how a magic-less Nome was able to steal her away. The Fairy folk don’t come around anymore since her kidnapping, but then neither have I seen or heard of any Nome sightings in at least a hundred and fifty years or so.”

The little purple Loon girl leaned over, her balloons falling out of her tiny dress and across my muzzle. I sniffed, drawing in the scent of sweat and jasmine, a purr rumbling up through my throat as I slipped a rough tongue out over her nipples, drawing a little gasp of pleasing surprise. A little incentive is all she needed. Maybe a few light claw marks on her back later, something to show off to her friends. The rest of the story; well, she would keep that to herself.

“So Oz went without rule for a while. I think that’s when we lost most of the Animals. They tried to head out and ended up grains of sand in the barrier desert. Trying to flee from persecution, as I said, some humans are beasts, man. It’s nearly impossible to leave Oz. Flash forward a bit, and we have the suspiciously convenient landing of Pinhead, who became the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Note my sarcasm. What a farce he was. He left with Dorothy after we took care of the Wicked Witch of the West. It’s a good thing she’s gone; one psycho is enough for any Oz. Then Scarecrow took over, and Glinda turned on him and ousted him. Here we are.”

She ran her fingers through my mane, and I felt the purr rising up again, filling my britches. She was in for a long night.

“Pinhead?” Cu’ asked.

“Yeah, he told Glinda his name was Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henckle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs. O.Z.- P.I.N.H.E.A.D. for short.” We both got a good laugh out of that one, so much so that we drew the eye of almost everyone in the crowd.

Everyone except for one very small, miniscule bunny we never noticed watching us and who we never saw scamper out the side door.