D: L&L - Part 33 | Lion: Lion in Wait

Bang, bang, bang. I pounded on her door again. No answer. “Bitch!” I grabbed my cell and hit redial.. waited.. waited… “I’m outside your door right now, where the fuck are you? I came right over as you asked, you’re really fucking funny. I’m going to wait for a few minutes, maybe you’re busy. Call me,” I was about to hang up and thought better of it, “please.”

I sat down on the step outside the door. What the hell was I doing there? Why was I waiting? Because I was hooked, that’s why. It’s that crazy little thing called love. Because no matter what happens, I didn’t want to be without her. Because I was a love-struck idiot.

I stood and began pacing around, thinking, but trying not to. Thinking always seemed to get me in trouble. I needed a new assistant, but who? Man, I thought I could trust Cu’. What the hell got into him? That fucking rabbit. A chick, just like her. Well, when you get to the bottom, you go back to the top of the slide, right? Get up and leave, you can’t just sit here all night. I told myself. But what if she came back and I wasn’t there? She’d be so pissed off at me. I couldn’t handle that shit, I needed something other than her anger if even for a little while. What was I going to do? How was I going to explain Cu’s sudden absence? Oh hey, yeah about that, I whacked my BFF because he was a scoundrel. Stupid bastard thought he could replace me. I laughed loudly, the sound echoing off the vast structure in front of me. “Where the fuck are you?” I yelled up to the darkened window.

Alone, man. That’s where you are. A lion with no pride. What was I doing with my life? Alone. People were afraid of you, great. How far does that get you? I stared up at the night sky, wishing I could just be part of it. The rain began to drizzle down again. I let it soak me, matting my fur. Fuck it.

I realized in that moment that I was nobody. I had no one. So I had the best of everything. I was on top of the world. Man, I was nothing. If only I could go back to that day. If only I’d have stayed and fought. But no, I ran like a coward. And I’m still a coward; standing here in the rain, afraid to walk away from an empty place. Hoping that the one person in Oz who despised me most would give me a little of her time. “No, she doesn’t hate me, she loves me. She’s got to love me. After all I’ve done for her, surely she has to love me.” I had to laugh at myself, what a fool.

If I walked away now, I stood to lose everything. She could take my whole empire from me with the flick of her wrist. Man, I was driving myself crazy with those thoughts. What should I do? I don’t know what to do. Why would she want to have anything to do with a murderer anyway?

Oh wait a minute, she was a murderer too. What a sweet couple. Perhaps once day we could frolic through Oz killing everything in sight. Maybe with no one around to know about me, she would accept me. Yeah, right. She hated me. She only subjugated herself to me because the only person she hated more than me was herself. I was her self punishment. “No, she loves me,” I whispered.

I sat back down on the wet steps, pulled my cell phone and looked at it just in case I had missed her call. I sighed… nothing. I clicked through my playlist, but nothing appealed to me. “Where are you, baby. Why haven’t you called me?” I said, talking to the grass again. I made sure the volume on my phone was on and stuffed it back in my pocket. I sat in the dark, on the stone steps, the rain washing over me, waiting. She’d be back. But where in the hell was she? “Fuck! How stupid am I?”

“You tricky little bitch!” I laughed. “I know what you’re doing. And Daddy’s going to wait right here for you to get back.” I reclined back on the steps, my head falling back, eyes toward the stars; the beam of light crossing her room window caught my attention. “What the hell?” I scrambled to my feet and ducked into the door’s alcove to hide. Who the fuck is up there? I thought. I reached behind me to try the door, something I was too afraid to do earlier. Man, she’d have been pissed if I just walked in. I’ll have to try that sometime.

The door opened quietly on its hinges. She’d have never stood for a squeaky door. I slipped into the blackness of the foyer. Not a single light on, I was grateful for my ability to see in the dark. I stalked quietly across the marble floor on all fours, and up the stairway. I knew just where to go, as I’d been so many times before. I heard noises coming from her bed chamber. Quietly, I slinked to her door. I threw it open and had been ready to pounce. But nobody was there. I went in and searched around the room, in her wardrobe, under her bed. “What the fuck?” I was puzzled. I knew I saw that light. Glancing around, I noticed her things in disarray. Not typical of her at all, “Pick that up, now! Everything in its place,” she had said to me once, when I left my jacket on the floor, “including you!” Someone was seeking out a death wish, breaking into her home, touching her things. But where the hell did they go? No one passed me in the hallway, there was no way they could have gotten past me.

I bent down to pick up one of her silky, satin robes from the floor intending to hang it back up. I couldn’t help but bring it up to my nose to smell her. Man… her scent so good. She never would tell me what perfume she wore, although I suspect it was one of her own concoctions. I always thought it funny how the smell of a woman could incite so much arousal in a man. I felt my pants tightening.

The overhead lights had flashed on so fast, I never suspected anyone in the room with me, and I was blinded momentarily as my eyes adjusted. I felt stupid for allowing the intruder to get the jump on me. It only took a second to make the business end of someone close for good. I tensed, ready for the attack.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” She screamed. At first, I was shocked to see her standing there with her little guard; I was busted. I couldn’t imagine what she saw walking in on me. I shrank into myself, dropped to my knee and bowed my head. I knew I was in some major shit.